Welcome to Gina, of Blythewood SC

Hi Gina!!! Glad you made it! Rose

If you take a look on the left, and you'll see a search engine. Put in ADHD and you'll come up with many posts I have written on the subject. Take it all with a grain of salt...it's just MY opinion!

Click on this to see my post about what we tried with our big Ben, what worked, and what didn't.

I, also, went on the internet and looked up everything I could! If it weren't for Ben's Aspergers, I would know very little about computers. And I read more books and talked to more people in the first year than I had in my whole life before that. You will find the strength and wisdom to give your little Ben what he needs, and no more. If you can't afford it, he doesn't need it!! The flip side of that is you know you will give him everything you can! Don't feel guilty about not going into debt. That would just increase the stress, and that's not what you need.

I asked Ben what advice I could give you for your little Ben. He said to tell you that he is the same kid he was before he got any labels.

Autism Diva: A better, much better way of teaching autistic kids

Responsive teaching strategies promote parent interactions with their children through strategies such as "follow the child's lead" and "take one turn and wait." The results of their study appear in an article in the April 2005 issue of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.

The Case Western study, at least a step above ABA, is very similar to my own "step above" in reaching Ben. Initially I was very frustrated, prayed for patience, and kept a copy of the "Love Chapter" (Love is patient, love is kind...) framed and placed on the wall where I could always look to it for guidance. In Ben's third grade, I decided to try a VERY BEHAVIORALLY BASED, but ineffective trial of immediately punishing "bad", in my mind, behavior, with the lofty goal of Ben going off Ritalin. It failed miserably, but gave me ideas....

Finally, a Ben's fifth grade teacher, Ms. Hunt ("still, small voice"), who I shall always see as a life-changing mentor TO ME, gave me tools similar to those used in the Case Western study. I entered Ben's world, and have never gone back.

I immediately saw results in my own behavior.


P.S. Thanks to the voyage blogspot for helping me find the Diva's post, which I had lost track of...

With the sometimes "do as you are told" politically expedient mentality of the NT crowd, who often end up being mentors to our children (teachers ARE social creatures...), how do we get ideas like this to replace "all things Lovaas"??

Thanks, Diva, for your timely post. You are a part of the solution, you know it?

MLK day--Recognize that he who is greatest

among you, shall be your servant.

AutismSpeaks: Katie McCarron's death

Some things seem so senseless...

Katie had two parents.

One saw only "autism" and felt compelled to eradicate her child of it, and death was the only answer she could see.

One saw a beautiful, loving child.

Katie, may you always be remembered in our hearts.


(If you have come here from googling Autism Speaks, please remember Katie, who was not a "tragedy" to those who loved her. Their wisdom speaks volumes.)

On suffering...and associated thoughts

As parents, we will do almost anything to avoid suffering in our children. A lot of therapy, parenting, teaching, is based on developing certain capabilities in our children that will make the road they travel easier, at least in our minds. It seems so many of the decisions we make keep this elusive "road" in mind. Yet even those who seem to have all the capabilities needed for a successful life suffer, sometimes unto death.

I am at a difficult time in my life, having a difficult time making decisions for Ben. That road that I always held as a direction not to be veered from, is becoming less obvious. I'm beginning to think it isn't even a road at all.

Escaping suffering is unrealistic. Life is messy, and sad, and joyful, and hard, and easy, sometimes all at the same time.

One of the greatest teachers I ever had was an 11 year old student, in a wheelchair, tube-fed, without speech, unable to take care of herself in any way and totally dependent on others for every basic need, as she always will be. She wasn't an "angel", in the patronizing sense. She was a highly loving, smart, tolerant human being with a bit of an attitude, who gave 110% to life and kind of demanded respect. (She had ways I tell ya, ways)

Ah, hell, I don't know.

Here's something else on my mind, related to my worries about my son. I didn't have a perfect life. My father sometimes drank too much and with all the messiness that goes along with it. My mother was the church lady, but far from judgmental. We were spanked as young kids, but not a lot. But they were EVIL, and I'll tell you why. We were seldom, if ever, punished. Maybe because there were 10 of us. They could have been just too tired. Dad often said, "I think you've punished yourself enough!"

Because we were seldom, if ever punished...we developed these highly acute consciences. They didn't have the guts to do it for us, so we had to do it ourselves!! Everybody turned out honest, and hardworking, and kind.

Should I punish Ben for his failing grades (no t.v., no computer, no_______). Or should I be evil, like my parents were, eh?

It's a tough one.

Nerdfighter's Happy Dance Project

Such beautiful posts on this New Years Day!! So many make me think, make me cry, make me realize how blessed we are to be who we are, living in these times.

My New Years resolution? To create the need in Ben to do the HAPPY DANCE! At the present, he is just "too cool" to make a fool out of himself as his 51 year old Ma is prone to do.

Hey, I know I am "squirrel bait"! One of my favorite jokes is to roll up the windows before the flying squirrels attack...Thus, I don't think it's a coincidence that I 'found' nerdfighters (brotherhood 2.0)before the year was up. Like a moth to a flame...Like a squirrel to squirrel-bait...

brotherhood 2.0 is the video-blog created by two competitive nerdy brothers who decided to end their habit of text communication and only communcate (there is no "i" in brotherhood) by video for one year every weekday. Through the year, somehow, they became "Nerd-fighters", and attempted to lower the world "suck" levels by asking other nerds to join them in this mission.

It's "quasi-intellectual" humor, and it amazes me two people could be so proud of their nerdiness, and create a "coming out" of nerds across the world! It feeds our inner nerds, you know, that have been neglected, rejected, and shamed into hiding.

It seems, that instead of having blood and guts inside, nerds are full of AWESOME!

"absurdity and aspergers"

After reading Look Me in the Eye, I was wondering if there was a correlation between absurdity and aspergers, as
there should be.

But there wasn't if you put them in quotes...I wonder if there will be after this post.

Sorry, once again, only amusing myself....