Wednesday, May 24, 2006

In Memory of K.M.

Ben at age 4.
I have purposely left the post somewhat ambiguously in memory of K.M. Katie is gone now; nothing in this world can ever bring her back. I tend to believe the spirit is larger than life, and that her spirit probably still lives. Her death, at least, will have meaning, as it has not gone unrecognized as the deaths of many "handicapped" do...

My parents were such wonderful people, kind and caring. Often, when we did something bad, they would say..."You've punished yourself enough already" and laugh. In doing so, they gave us tremendous consciences! My Dad was a bartender, and I can think of many a preacher who could learn from him. Maybe Katie's mom didn't have parents who developed her conscience. Too bad for her mom. Maybe she felt like she would be seen as a martyr. Too bad for her.

Somehow, I don't think we need to belittle or punish Katie's mother. Funny, but I can't imagine that she won't become the "hollow shell" she purported her child to be. To be so emotionally fragile to kill one's own child, we're either talking unimaginable selfishness, or a suicide watch forever. If she's that selfish, Karma will be a bitch. If she's that fragile, suicide would be a relief. It has nothing to do with Katie being autistic. A murderer is murderer.

This post is also for the other mother's who think their children would be better off dead. Before you take their lives into your hands,let's settle things. Let's make sure that you love your child first. If you love them unconditionally, as we are all called to do, and still feel that they would be better of dead, if your conscience frees you, then I'm not going to judge. I'm a good Catholic girl, taught by nuns, and I remember Sr. Casimir telling us that if our consciences don't judge us, then God will not. I thought she was full of it at the time.

This is from the Bible, because that is the religion that I am familiar with, but it could be from any other religion or belief, because in essence they all say the same thing:

LOVE is patient,
LOVE is kind.
It does not envy.
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
LOVE does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7 )

Do you love your child?

I do feel for you, Katie's Mom (K.M.). You are the last person on this earth I would want to trade places with right now. There was one moment in my life when I thought Ben and I would be better off dead. I thank God I didn't react to that "feeling" which was short-lived. For some reason, you were able to justify snuffing out your own childs life and living. That takes a kind of guts I hope I never have...

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