Friday, June 09, 2006

Teacher or friend

Our kids are so sensitive to the feelings of others...if we are anxious, a lot of times this feeds their own anxiety.

I am trying to find out exactly what way is best to teach our kids. I can't help but come back to the feeling that if there is no relationship between the child and the teacher, no peaceful feeling, that it will serve as a block, and whatever "wisdom" we choose to impart will be like the child who lives in fear of the parent; they try to please them to avoid punishment...but there is no growth. I am a little uncomfortable bringing up ABA, because of the bad feelings it imparts on many. It has never been my intention to hurt others.

I loved my teachers. There was a kindness there, almost like a mother, and one wanted to please them because their "acceptance" was like a drug.

I've often heard that one wants to be a child's parent, not their friend, and use that idea to justify abuse. I think a parent should be a childs friend, and, in addition, a parent, with all the responsibilities that entails. I think a teacher should be a child's friend, and above and beyond that a mentor. When Jannalou said that one of her "rewards" was to do anything to make her students laugh...I thought, she's got it! Shared laughter is the best form of communication, a wonderful bridge. It's a hard thing to do sometimes for kids with autism, but what a goal to shoot for!

I want to go into teaching again, and with the grace of God, a teacher of kids with autism. I just want to know the best way to go about it. I just wanted to get these thoughts out before I leave.

I will be heading off to DC for a week. Let's hope there is no retaliation for recent events in Iraq!

I am so thankful to be a part of this hub. I will miss the wisdom it imparts.


Bonnie Ventura said...

Have a great trip Rose! My family will also be traveling this summer (I just wrote about that on Aspergian Pride).

You're quite right that kids often notice their parents' feelings of anxiety and start to feel anxious themselves, even if they do not fully understand why.

Kristina Chew said...

Rose, thank you for sharing this! What are your plans in DC? I'm very glad to get into any kind of discussion about teaching our kids. Some other autism mothers I know whose kids learn best with ABA do think that there is "good ABA" and "bad ABA" with many gradations inbetween----and the best kind definitely involves friendship, and a real bond, between child and teacher.

Vidya Ganesh said...

Hi! It is very important indeed that there is a relationship between the teacher and the child... or for that matter anyone who works with the aid learning and bring out the hidden abilities.

And I believe that the first step towards building this relationship is making an effort to understand the child.

Thanks for this thoughtful post.

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