Friday, June 22, 2007

Be quiet and the kids will come to you

Ben's advice to a teacher who wanted to know the "secret".

I was very quiet as a child...most of us major depressive schitzo-shitzo's are. At age 14 or so I was walking back from a friends house. A boy, tall, lean, and scary, started following me. I didn't know who he was or what he wanted. Mr. Faulkner, our neighbor who I had only waved at before said, "He won't hurt you. He's mute". I never saw him again although I lived the rest of my teen years in that neighborhood. Into my life, and then non-existent.

Taking Ben to the library...a young boy hugs me. He is autistic, his teacher says.

Grass in the wind

When Ben was young, I told his teacher the harder you pulled his rope, the harder he pulled back. It's so DAMN hard to let go of the rope.


Joe said...

Generally, if I try to hold my son's hand to get him to go where I want him to go, he resists, sometimes very forcefully. If I just walk (or put my hand softly on his back to guide him) he'll walk right beside me.

kristina said...

And when we don't let go, we just keep tying ourselves into bigger knots.....

r.b. said...

Joe: My son seems to have "control issues", The more gently you treat him, the better he cooperates. But somewhere in there he needs to know you mean business. I've gotten pretty good at it, and our lives have improved tremendously.

I finally thought of what this reminded me of. They say if you try to chase a butterfly you never catch it...but if you sit still, it comes landing softly on your shoulder.

Kristina: Great analogy! That's EXACTLY what happens. How fortunate we've learned that!

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