Saturday, September 18, 2010


Dear Ben:
I don't know about your teachers, what they did or didn't do to obtain your cooperation.  All I know is Mr. Butler could get you to do anything...and I don't think he ever said a word to you...just treated you as you wanted to be treated, I guess.
You wrote once on autism punk, and a teacher asked you, "How do I treat my students?" and you said "Just let them come to you..."

That's like ABA on opposite day...Normally, it's always in your face, telling you what to do, taking notes of non-compliance.  Just as life must seem to you at times. I know I often make you feel "less than", and I'm sorry.  I'm still learning.

Because of the Hub, I felt like the sole parent who wasn't interested in politically demanding ABA treatment for Autism at the Family Connections meetings in South Carolina.  I just sensed it was wrong, that it was filling the pockets of idiots, you know?

"Just let them come to you."

Why are we afraid of that? 


farmwifetwo said...

Not only out there.... but definately the minority. And, I have found those that tossed it early... present company included... seem to have better outcomes of severly autistic children when we teach them the way they need to be taught... Individually.

r.b. said...

Yeah, it doesn't matter what I do, Im always in the minority...

Stephanie said...

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you "just let them come to you." And when you're willing to "hear" the way they communicate.

Stephanie said...

As to "Why are we afraid of that?"

I think people like the illusion of control. Some parents expect to control their kids, and when they can't they try to force it. Teachers, therapists--anyone really--can be susceptible to the same desire to control, other adults as well as children.

To let them come to us would be to admit we're not in control. Which we're not, but I think--for those who strive for control--that's besides the point.

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