Wednesday, September 08, 2010

There's nothing wrong with Ben.


This drama mama nearly destroyed herself trying to smack reality in her family when they insisted on this mantra.

I didn't understand the wisdom of that mantra.

A child needs an advocate, not a critic.

(Picture is "World's most complicated signature", by Ben Walker)

Just comes a time when you think..."He is perfect!"

What an ease it must be to your child's heart when this is how you approach him.

There is this thing, called "self-esteem".   I can't imagine you get it from behavioral exercises, drugs,  institutions...if no one believes in us, can we believe in ourselves? If no one loves us, without us following a certain prescribed notion of "human" or "capable" that has little in common with who we are, can we be truly human? Who decides???

One thing I have learned is that there are two worlds.  One is of's found in books(Diaganostic and Statistical Manual????) and "experts" and "goals" and  what "should" be and money and sacrifice and heroes and villians ...and then, there is the messy, complicated, wondrous world full of love and caring and acceptance and joy, and it's in the heart, not the head.

My head told me all the things that were wrong.  My heart tells me all the things that are right.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

My mantra was "My children are NOT broken! Don't try to fix them."

The idea was that they may have challenges they need to overcome, that we're trying to help them overcome, it isn't because they're broken or that they need to be fixed.

We all have challenges, including things we just aren't good at. Recognizing that doesn't have to be damaging to one's self-esteem when done with a loving, accepting heart.

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