Friend or foe?Not that it matters much to me, but why are so many ex-hubbers on this list? Curiosity killed the cat, but...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I don't know about your teachers, what they did or didn't do to obtain your cooperation. All I know is Mr. Butler could get you to do anything...and I don't think he ever said a word to you...just treated you as you wanted to be treated, I guess.You wrote once on autism punk, and a teacher asked you, "How do I treat my students?" and you said "Just let them come to you..."
That's like ABA on opposite day...Normally, it's always in your face, telling you what to do, taking notes of non-compliance. Just as life must seem to you at times. I know I often make you feel "less than", and I'm sorry. I'm still learning.
Because of the Hub, I felt like the sole parent who wasn't interested in politically demanding ABA treatment for Autism at the Family Connections meetings in South Carolina. I just sensed it was wrong, that it was filling the pockets of idiots, you know?
"Just let them come to you."
Why are we afraid of that?
Posted by Usethebrains Godgiveyou at 9/18/2010 10:39:00 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Your dad bought me a book of poems by Robert Frost one of our first Christmases together. I'd never come cross this one in my education, but it knocked me out, and it's the only poem I've ever tried (and failed) to memorize. I know you love Farenheit 451...if I could, I would "become" this poem.
Robert Frost (1874–1963). A Boy’s Will. 1915.
22. The Trial by Existence
EVEN the bravest that are slain
Shall not dissemble their surprise
On waking to find valor reign,
Even as on earth, in paradise;
And where they sought without the sword 5
Wide fields of asphodel fore’er,
To find that the utmost reward
Of daring should be still to dare.
The light of heaven falls whole and white
And is not shattered into dyes, 10
The light for ever is morning light;
The hills are verdured pasture-wise;
The angel hosts with freshness go,
And seek with laughter what to brave;—
And binding all is the hushed snow 15
Of the far-distant breaking wave.
And from a cliff-top is proclaimed
The gathering of the souls for birth,
The trial by existence named,
The obscuration upon earth. 20
And the slant spirits trooping by
In streams and cross- and counter-streams
Can but give ear to that sweet cry
For its suggestion of what dreams!
And the more loitering are turned 25
To view once more the sacrifice
Of those who for some good discerned
Will gladly give up paradise.
And a white shimmering concourse rolls
Toward the throne to witness there 30
The speeding of devoted souls
Which God makes his especial care.
And none are taken but who will,
Having first heard the life read out
That opens earthward, good and ill, 35
Beyond the shadow of a doubt;
And very beautifully God limns,
And tenderly, life’s little dream,
But naught extenuates or dims,
Setting the thing that is supreme. 40
Nor is there wanting in the press
Some spirit to stand simply forth,
Heroic in its nakedness,
Against the uttermost of earth.
The tale of earth’s unhonored things 45
Sounds nobler there than ’neath the sun;
And the mind whirls and the heart sings,
And a shout greets the daring one.
But always God speaks at the end:
’One thought in agony of strife 50
The bravest would have by for friend,
The memory that he chose the life;
But the pure fate to which you go
Admits no memory of choice,
Or the woe were not earthly woe 55
To which you give the assenting voice.’
And so the choice must be again,
But the last choice is still the same;
And the awe passes wonder then,
And a hush falls for all acclaim. 60
And God has taken a flower of gold
And broken it, and used therefrom
The mystic link to bind and hold
Spirit to matter till death come.
‘Tis of the essence of life here, 65
Though we choose greatly, still to lack
The lasting memory at all clear,
That life has for us on the wrack
Nothing but what we somehow chose;
Thus are we wholly stripped of pride 70
In the pain that has but one close,
Bearing it crushed and mystified.
Every line has a special meaning to me, but I am often reminded of:
The tale of earth’s unhonored things 45
Sounds nobler there than ’neath the sun;
I see so many people who don't see what heroes they are...they commit astounding acts of kindness...that go totally unnoticed by their peers, but are deeply appreciated, life-changing,
in ways that no-one but the objects of their Loving-kindness will ever know.
I'm thinking of people who give up their lives in order to take care of aging parents, who don't deserve to die alone in enormously expensive warehouses for the elderly or infirmed. "Important" people have the luxury to forget their parents...and give them the "best institutions" money can buy!
I don't know if you can appreciate this now, Ben, but you probably can. You tend to "see through the clutter" and call bullshit pretty easily. But there are still negative stereotypes and prejudices that cause people to dismiss those who are powerless or poor. Yet, I think they hold the "heart of God" and keep it alive and beating in this cold world. Were it not for them...
Do you rememver Chandra, who works in maintainence at Daddy's job? She's the gal who was born deaf, but it was never discovered for years. She was always treated as mentally retarded before then. She had something she wanted to tell me yesterday, that she had become a grandmother!
Usually, I can't understand her, but yesterday every word came out clear as a bell...I was watching her lips (yeah, I know, go figure...) She was talking about you and her 17 year old daughter who I found out was her baby, and she went on to tell me she had 3 more children, and their ages.
Then she mumbled something about they just came along, but then she said, "I just couldn't kill them. They did't ask to be born in this world."
I doubt that she was ever married. She had to have been poor as hell all her life. She is black, deaf, and poor, as archetypal a background for a woman seeking an abortion as any I've ever heard. All her children still live with her.
"How disgusting!" the worldly say. You know they do...they invented the words that cut to the bone.
"My grandbaby's four months old...I'll have to bring the pictures so you can see her!"
"Yeah, I'll see 'em next month when we come to class." I tell her
"I'll give you one then!" she says, and I can see the pride in her face as we say goodbye.
"Yes, you do that. And every time I see it, I'll pray for her.." I say, even though I'm kinda agnostic. People who are this strong, this kind, just kinda bring out my fledgling faith. They NEED God, not the other way around.
We can think we own the world, that we are above others, and be "thank GOD I am not like that man!" Pharisees. But me and Robert Frost know better.
No, wait: That's God, me, and Robert Frost.
Posted by Usethebrains Godgiveyou at 9/16/2010 09:52:00 AM
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
This drama mama nearly destroyed herself trying to smack reality in her family when they insisted on this mantra.
I didn't understand the wisdom of that mantra.
A child needs an advocate, not a critic.
(Picture is "World's most complicated signature", by Ben Walker)
Just comes a time when you think..."He is perfect!"
What an ease it must be to your child's heart when this is how you approach him.
There is this thing, called "self-esteem". I can't imagine you get it from behavioral exercises, drugs, institutions...if no one believes in us, can we believe in ourselves? If no one loves us, without us following a certain prescribed notion of "human" or "capable" that has little in common with who we are, can we be truly human? Who decides???
One thing I have learned is that there are two worlds. One is of illusion...it's found in books(Diaganostic and Statistical Manual????) and "experts" and "goals" and what "should" be and money and sacrifice and heroes and villians ...and then, there is the messy, complicated, wondrous world full of love and caring and acceptance and joy, and it's in the heart, not the head.
My head told me all the things that were wrong. My heart tells me all the things that are right.
Posted by Usethebrains Godgiveyou at 9/08/2010 09:21:00 AM